Tales from a Rainy Night
by Reese1
Summary: Rick and Lisa have a heart-to-heart talk at the end of "Rainy Night."
1. Live

"I understand perfectly. Just make sure you don't let too much time go by before you tell him."  
  
As Rick and Lisa walked together in the rainy night, Claudia's words replayed themselves in Lisa's head. How will I ever tell him? What if he doesn't feel the same way?  
  
He was being nice to her now, after yelling at her earlier in the day. Lisa had been so depressed, she had taken to running aimlessly in the rain. And that's when it had all happened. Claudia had found her standing alone outside of Rick's place, and the two of them had shared a heart-to-heart talk. Long ago, a young Roy Fokker had called Claudia from across the street, on a rainy night, much like this one. And like that night from long ago, Rick had called Lisa from across the street, apparently desiring to reconcile with her. It was an amazing reversal of fortune.  
  
The two friends arrived at their destination, Rick's apartment. They entered the apartment and put up their umbrella and wet shoes along the wall near the front door. Lisa made tea, and the two sat down to have a conversation that would last long into the night.  
  
With Rick seated on the sofa, Lisa brought out the kettle of hot tea and poured two cups. They sat down on the sofa next to each other. As they lifted their cups to their mouths, their eyes met, and Lisa felt her face flushing. She wondered if it was from the effects of the wine she had liberally consumed, while at Claudia's place.  
  
I hope I'm not too drunk, Lisa thought to herself.  
  
There was an awkward silence.  
  
"You said you wanted to talk to me seriously about some important things," Rick said.  
  
"Rick, I'm sorry for the way I bossed you around the other day. I didn't mean to intrude on your personal life in that way. I mean-"  
  
Lisa felt her strength faltering. She did not know if she could bring herself to share her true feelings with him.  
  
"I like you, Rick. I like being with you."  
  
Lisa stopped talking, swallowed, and averted her eyes. She felt as if she had really hung herself out in the open, exposed herself, and anxiously waited for Rick's response. In a way, though, she had not been completely honest. She had not been able to express to Rick, in words, the depth of her love for him.  
  
If he only knew, Lisa thought. If there was only some way I could open my heart to him.  
  
When Lisa looked again into Rick's eyes, she saw him smiling. He reached out and touched her hand with tenderness.  
  
"I like you too, Lisa. And I'm sorry for hurting you today with all the stupid things I said."  
  
"Thank you, I'm alright," Lisa said.  
  
"We've come a long way, haven't we, Lisa?"  
  
"We sure have. It seems not so long ago, you were calling me 'that old sourpuss,' and I was calling you 'that loudmouth pilot.'"  
  
"How did we ever get to where we are today?"  
  
Lisa thought about it for a second, searching her memories.  
  
"I'd say things changed for us when we were trapped on the alien ship."  
  
* * *  
  
Endless falling.  
  
Lisa and Rick were free falling through darkness. They had been falling for so long that their joint screams of terror had ceased, and, unable to scream any longer, shut their eyes in horrified anticipation as they waited for the end.  
  
In the seconds that Lisa had to think during her fall, she rapidly processed through her head what had just happened. She and Rick had nearly been caught by a Zentraedi. When Rick had been kicked out of the way, she had lost hold of her video recorder. During their subsequent flight, Zentraedi soldiers had shot out the floor in front of them, and now the two were falling to their deaths. The mission was a failure. They were going to die.  
  
I'm ready to die, Lisa thought to herself. I failed my mission, and now I'm causing the deaths of three of my comrades. There would be no point in surviving, and making it back home, anyway. I have nothing to live for. My life is empty and filled with loneliness and pain. Maybe it's better this way.  
  
Lisa felt herself blacking out.  
  
"Karl-" Lisa whispered.  
  
My beloved Karl. Soon I'll be with you again, like it was always meant to be. I miss you so much.  
  
Lisa blacked out.  
  
Within instants, she heard a voice in her head, the voice of her dead fiance, Karl Riber. This was the man Lisa was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. He was her first and only love. They were soulmates, but the torrents of war tore them apart. Karl had died on Mars Base Sara before they could marry.  
  
Lisa, the voice of Karl said.  
  
Karl?  
  
Is that really you?  
  
I love you so much, Lisa heard Karl say. I know how much you want to see me again. But Lisa, it's not your time yet. Your destiny lies on a different path from mine. Some things are simply meant to be. Please understand, darling. It's too soon, too soon for you to die. You can't die, not now, not here. You have to live, my darling.  
  
You must live.  
  
Lisa's eyes suddenly opened, and she burst out from beneath the water, gasping for air. How could she have survived such a fall? It was the water, she realized. This large pool of water had saved her life. In her confusion and disorientation, Lisa looked around to see where she was. They were in a dark and deserted place, deep in the bowels of the ship.  
  
I heard Karl's voice, Lisa thought to herself. She was so sure that she had heard his voice. Was it really him? Was he watching, even now, reaching out to her from beyond the grave?  
  
You must live, Karl had said to her.  
  
Yes, I must live, Lisa decided. No matter what happens, I must live.  
  
"Rick?" Lisa looked around and could not see him. There were a few air bubbles surfacing a few feet from her, in the water. Rick was sinking. He would drown unless she did something quickly.  
  
"Rick!" Lisa cried in alarm. Without another moment of hesitation, she dove beneath the area where she had last seen the bubbles, and blindly reached out in the dark water, praying to find Rick. She dove down deeper and deeper, her eyes straining in the darkness. There was a dark form sinking below her, and she grabbed hold of it. It turned out to be Rick's arm.  
  
Hold on, Rick, Lisa thought as she kicked furiously to the surface. With her last ounce of strength, they finally surfaced, and Lisa gasped for air at last.  
  
"Rick, don't die, please don't die," Lisa said as she struggled to drag Rick out of the water. When they reached the dry deck, Lisa lay Rick on his back and checked for his pulse and breathing. He wasn't breathing. Without even thinking, Lisa got down on her knees next to Rick and administered mouth to mouth resuscitation. After what seemed like forever, Rick finally began to cough out some of the water he'd taken into his lungs.  
  
Lisa breathed a sigh of relief as she gently stroked Rick's cheek.  
  
She was amazed. How have I suddenly come to care about this young man? We've never been able to get along; we've always been fighting with each other. But he risked his life to save my own. He stopped me from killing myself at Mars Base. He disobeyed my orders and tried to rescue me when I was captured. He saved me again, even after getting caught in the chest with a Zentraedi boot.  
  
In her heart, Lisa felt herself beginning to feel a sense of begrudging respect and gratitude. In their short time knowing each other, he had already done so much for her, simply because it was he knew it was the right thing to do. And then there was the kiss. She had ordered him to kiss her in front of the Zentraedi lord, and he had obliged. There was so much warmth and gentleness, and restrained passion in that kiss, it had brought an unwitting tingling sensation right down to the tips of her toes. Against her will, Lisa felt herself strangely drawn to this impetuous young man. He was a loudmouth to be sure, but he was brave and loyal. And most of all, he was gentle.  
  
Lisa felt a gush of excitement as she watched the color return to Rick's cheeks. He looked like he was still a little delirious. Is it possible, she thought, for the two of us to become friends? What would it be like to be friends with Rick Hunter? Would we like each other? Would we spend time together, and get to know each other, and really share the deepest feelings in our hearts with one another? And as Lisa contemplated these strange and wonderful things, she felt herself coming to life again. She felt like she had a reason to live again.  
  
"Minmei! Minmei-" Rick said, as if in a dream.  
  
Lisa felt herself grow cold. This was reality. How could she ever become close to Rick when he already had someone else in his life? Surely this Minmei, the lovely Miss Macross, was his girlfriend. She remembered seeing the two of them together. There's just no way, Lisa thought. I guess I was just having a silly, idle daydream.  
  
As Rick recovered his consciousness, Lisa struggled to compose herself again, to make herself into the tough officer, as she had always presented herself to Rick. But for that brief moment, Lisa had felt the stirring of a new feeling, one that she had not known since the day that Karl had died.  
  
In that sweet, fleeting moment, Lisa had felt alive again. She knew she would treasure that memory and not forget how good it felt. Perhaps there was a hope that one day she would know happiness again.  
  
You must live, Karl said.  
  
Yes, Karl, Lisa answered. I will live. No matter what happens, I won't ever forget what you shared with me. You showed me how wonderful it could be to love another person, and I won't forget that feeling, ever. No matter how discouraged I might feel, I'll keep trying. I'll keep on living. I promise you this, from the depths of my soul. 


	2. The First Time

Rick listened attentively as Lisa finished telling her story of how she had heard Karl's voice when they had fallen and nearly drowned in the depths of Breetai's ship.  
  
"You really think you heard his voice?" Rick asked.  
  
"I do," Lisa nodded.  
  
"Has he spoken to you at all since that time?"  
  
"No, never," Lisa said. She had a sad look in her eyes. Rick perceived this, and he understood that this was the man that Lisa had once loved. And as he sat there reflecting on Lisa's past love, he found himself wondering what she was like. What was Lisa like as a woman in love? He felt he had not really seen this other part of Lisa, this other self. The part of Lisa he mostly knew was that of the confident officer, although on rare occasions, he had seen the tender side of Lisa. There was the Lisa who had run joyously into his arms at Alaska Base, the Lisa who had once broken down into tears as she recounted her lost love, and the Lisa who had gazed at Mars, looking lonely and vulnerable, while Rick had watched over her on the flight deck.  
  
* * *  
  
The flight deck remained open to outer space, and Lisa watched the planet Mars as it slowly and inexorably receded into the distance. They were leaving Mars, but in a way, they had left something behind on that desolate planet. It seemed to Lisa that a part of her had died on that planet, today. Somewhere, deep in her heart, Lisa had cherished a hope against hope that Karl had not, in fact, been killed, but that he was still alive and well, surviving against all odds. When she had personally gone down to the base and found it completely deserted, Lisa knew that there was no hope, and that flame in her heart was extinguished. It was so cruel. This was not how her life was supposed to turn out. She was beautiful and successful, but she was lonely and heart-broken. It had ceased to matter whether she lived or not, from that point on.  
  
She had been ready to die, right there in Karl's quarters, but a certain cocky sergeant had swooped down out of nowhere and snatched her out of the one place left where she could find rest for her lonely, troubled soul. That bastard Rick Hunter had had the temerity to call her an old sourpuss in front of everyone. More than that, he was perverted, hanging around women's lingerie shops all the time. That irresponsible, annoying, immature-  
  
"Commander," Rick said softly from behind her, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
Lisa turned around. The mark of tears remained on her face as she faced her least favorite person at that moment.  
  
"I was supposed to die down there, but you-you cheated me!"  
  
Lisa grabbed Rick by the arms and shook him.  
  
"Why couldn't you just have listened to me and leave me alone?"  
  
Rick was stunned. Things had been weird for him ever since Roy had given him the order to rescue the Lieutenant Commander. First, she had been angry and had not wanted to be rescued. And now she was yelling at him for saving her life. Hell, couldn't he do anything right by this woman?  
  
Lisa turned away and gave a last, long look at Mars.  
  
Goodbye, Karl. I miss you so much.  
  
"Well, I wasn't about to let you die," Rick said as the two of them watched Mars together.  
  
* * *  
  
I wasn't about to let you die.  
  
Lisa had echoed those same words to Rick after saving him from drowning on the Zentraedi ship. Rick smiled to himself as he remembered it.  
  
"Remember the time we were on Mars Base?" Rick asked.  
  
"Of course I remember. I wouldn't be here today if it hadn't been for you."  
  
"You know," Rick said half jokingly, "I was only following orders. It was all Roy's fault, really. He told me to go in and save you, so I had no choice in the matter."  
  
Lisa gaped at Rick. She jabbed him in the shoulder.  
  
"You rat!" Lisa laughed. "And to think that all this time, I thought it was because you actually cared about me."  
  
"Well, that too."  
  
"That Roy was really something, wasn't he?" Lisa said.  
  
"Sometimes," Rick said, "I can still see him, flying that biplane of his."  
  
* * *  
  
The biplane was coming in low. Young Rick Hunter, dressed in overalls, looked up from where he had been walking, in a field of wild flowers. The skies were clear blue, and the sun shone brightly in the noonday sky.  
  
"Hey!" Rick shouted, running after the plane. The pilot was a man he had never seen before. He had long yellow hair and a tanned complexion. With the scarf and goggles, he looked every bit like some kind of World War I flying ace. The pilot saw Rick as he flew past him, and he turned in the cockpit and waved. Rick chased after the plane, exhilarated. He had never seen one of those biplanes before, at least not in real life, and he marveled at how the plane glided down to a smooth landing. The pilot cut the engines and leapt out of the plane.  
  
"Hi there, little fellow," the pilot said.  
  
"Hi, mister," Rick said. "I'm Rick Hunter. Are you going to be flying with my dad's circus?"  
  
"That's right, Rick. I'm Roy Fokker."  
  
"Wow," Rick said, looking at the biplane with admiration.  
  
"Hey, Rick," Roy said, "How would you like to hop in with me and take this baby for another ride?"  
  
"Really?" Rick said excitedly.  
  
"That's right, Rick. Have you flown before?"  
  
"No," Rick said. "My dad says he'll let me when I'm old enough."  
  
"Humph," Roy scoffed, "whatever. Hop in the back seat."  
  
Roy climbed into the cockpit and indicated for Rick to take the copilot seat.  
  
"Flying is the best feeling in the world," Roy explained as he pulled his goggles over his eyes. "Why, it's even better than sex."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Uh, never mind," Roy said. "Are you ready?"  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
Rick turned to his left and right. Everywhere he looked, he saw open fields of verdant green grass and colorful flowers. His father was no where in sight. The aircraft hangar for the flying circus was far in the distance, off toward the western horizon, where Rick could see a line of pine trees.  
  
"Then let's take her away!"  
  
With that, Roy turned up the throttle, and the biplane raced along the open plains, bumping over the small rocks and divots it encountered in its path. When the plane had reached sufficient speed, Roy pulled up, and the plane lurched off the ground. Likewise, Rick felt his stomach sink a little as the plane moved upward, and then he felt that feeling of lightness as they accelerated off the ground.  
  
"We're flying!" Rick shouted. "We're flying!"  
  
* * *  
  
Rick made rumbling noises as he played with the toy biplane that Roy had given him. The brief fight between Max and that enemy Quadrono had ended, Minmei had come and gone, and once again, Rick was left to his own devices. It was going to be a long and boring night, with him holed up in the hospital, nursing a sore head.  
  
Rick was startled by the sight of Lisa staggering into the room. Lisa then proceeded to tell him that Roy had died as a result of injuries sustained in battle.  
  
"He lost too much blood," Lisa added.  
  
Rick was too stunned for words. The biplane slipped from his hand and crashed onto the floor, breaking into a dozen pieces. None of that even registered to Rick as he contemplated his friend, his big brother, being gone.  
  
"My big brother," Rick said, "my big brother's dead."  
  
Rick felt tears welling up in his eyes. He tried his best to fight them off, not wanting to burst into tears right in front of Lisa. But he felt the tears coming, all the same.  
  
Lisa approached his bed and sat down, near him.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Rick," Lisa said again as she gently put her arms around Rick.  
  
Rick put his arms around Lisa as he sat up in bed and cried into her shoulder. The two friends held each other like that for a long time.  
  
So this is what it feels like to hold him in my arms, Lisa thought to herself as she held him. I wish I could hold him like this forever. I wish I could take away the pain, all by myself. It feels so good to be this close to him.  
  
And Lisa held close to her heart a secret hope that, in the days to come, she might draw close to him once again. Yes, she would share with Rick all the joys, and all the sorrows, of life. They would share in these things together.  
  
And so the sting of Cupid's arrow hits home!  
  
Claudia's words echoed in Lisa's mind. She'd spoken those words not long ago to Lisa, during an idle moment on the bridge.  
  
Lisa, you're in love with Rick Hunter. Isn't that true?  
  
Yes, Lisa reflected as she held Rick on that hospital bed. I never wanted to admit it to myself before, but I can't lie to myself any longer. I love Rick with all my heart and soul. I love him.  
  
From now on, whenever she thought of him, she would feel the sweet, painful pang of longing in her heart, hoping against hope that one day, he would tell her that he loved her too.  
  
Was such happiness possible for her? Lisa did not know, but she cherished that dream all the same. 


	3. I Was a Prisoner

Love. Where does it come from? Who lit this flame in us? No war can put it out, conquer it. I was a prisoner. You set me free. - THE THIN RED LINE  
  
* * *  
  
Lisa had used up the last of Claudia's tea, and the empty kettle and cups sat on the small coffee table in front of the sofa where she and Rick continued to share and reminisce. It was four minutes past midnight, on Friday night. Outside, the rain continued to fall hard. Lisa could not remember the last time she had seen so much rain. When the day had begun, the dark clouds over the horizon had hinted that there was a storm coming. Now, as Lisa listened to the pit-pat of the raindrops falling outside onto the ground, she took comfort in the fact that she was dry and warm, enjoying Rick's company. The company of the man she loved.  
  
How will I tell him, she wondered. Claudia encouraged me to tell him how I felt about him, but now that I'm with him, I feel scared. I know I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. I'm such a child.  
  
There was a brief lull in the conversation, and the two friends blushed as thoughts of "what could be" between them flashed through their minds in a moment of lucidity.  
  
What were they talking about, anyway, Lisa needed to remind herself.  
  
Karl. They were talking about Karl. Karl and Roy.  
  
"The man you were engaged to once," Rick said.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What was he like?"  
  
Rick felt a little uncomfortable asking about Lisa's dead fiancee. You never knew if it was a good idea to discuss someone's ex-boyfriend. Especially if he happened to be dead. You just never knew what you were going to get. What if the girl you're interested in starts talking about how the guy she used to date was some kind of weirdo sexual pervert? What then? That kind of just kills your budding romantic relationship right then and there.  
  
But Rick wanted to hear about it. Actually, he would have said that he wanted to hear Lisa talk about it. In the time they had known each other, they had rarely opened up to each other. They talked about small things like how cute little Dana Sterling was. It seemed they never shared the feelings of their hearts with one another. There were a few moments, few and far between. There was the time she and Rick were stuck together in a little corner of the transformed SDF-1 while a battle raged outside, with Sammy Porter directing the Veritech squadrons. She had broken down in tears.  
  
We were engaged but he was killed in action before we had a chance to get married. Sometimes at night his face comes back to haunt me, and I just can't bear it.  
  
It was that same Lisa who had stood on the flight deck next to Rick's plane, watching Mars recede in the distance after the destruction of Mars Base Sara. That Lisa was not the cool, commanding, and confident career military officer. That Lisa who had broken down in tears, describing her lost love, was the sensitive and vulnerable woman he was growing to admire with each passing day.  
  
And, above all-  
  
She's so gentle, Rick thought to himself. I want to see more of this side of Lisa, the gentle and loving side. When I'm with her like this, I feel like I've been away for a long time, and that I've finally come home. There's no other place I could feel at home with except for this woman. I really like Lisa. Maybe I even-  
  
The same idea had crossed Rick's mind before, and he had been afraid to acknowledge it back then, too.  
  
Love. Was that so hard to say, to think?  
  
Am I in love with Lisa Hayes?  
  
Lisa thought about Karl Riber, and how they had met and fallen in love. A soft smile came to her face as she pictured Karl.  
  
* * *  
  
The cold wintry frost belied the heat and warmth that surged through Lisa Hayes as she and Karl Riber looked at one another.  
  
The world was at war, but the violence and misery seemed removed from them. The United States had been attacked in the war, but the Americans had succeeded in taking the war to the shores of their enemies.  
  
They were walking to a skating rink in Washington, DC, and Lisa Hayes was twelve years old.  
  
The skating rink was a smaller operation now in wartime, with only a few skaters on the ice. But Lisa and Karl were young, and they could be excused from a moment of harmless frivolity and fun if it helped them forget there was a horrible war going on around them.  
  
Lisa did not know what exactly drew her and Karl together. He was the boy next door. They had run together on the suburban streets of Maryland, from as early as Lisa could remember, from the earliest time of her self awareness. And seeing as how they were neighbors who were near to each other in age, it seemed no big deal for them to be friends and play together occasionally.  
  
And now they were skating together, side by side, quietly, enjoying each other's company. Lisa wondered, when had she begun to feel differently when she was with Karl? When had she begun to look at him and feel an anxious flutter in her stomach and a skipped heart beat?  
  
She could not tell. They drifted closer together on the ice, and for a moment, their gloved hands touched. For some reason, Lisa felt the sensation very acutely. Karl quickly blushed and withdrew his hand, muttering "pardon" to her. Lisa found herself blushing too.  
  
Why?  
  
Why do I have this feeling when I'm with this boy?  
  
Their eyes met, and in that moment, Lisa understood. She understood the reason why they were here today of all places, why Karl even hung out with her at all, and why he had recently decided to enlist in the United States armed forces.  
  
This war, this global civil war, is meaningless. War accomplishes nothing. It's done nothing but cause death and destruction. I hate this war, Lisa.  
  
That's what he used to say. He was a couple of years older than Lisa, old enough to join the military that he distrusted so much. Lisa had wondered why he had done it.  
  
Now, as Karl shyly reached down again with renewed courage to take her hand in his as they skated together in the rink, Lisa understood. Understood why he'd joined the military. He'd done it for her, of course. He knew her father would like him better if he was part of the service, and wanting to gain her father's acceptance and approval, he had put himself on the line for her.  
  
Even though I'll be in the military, maybe I won't have to be in combat. Then I won't be hurting anyone.  
  
Why?  
  
Because he liked her. Really liked her. More than that, he loved her. Lisa felt the warmth of her friend's hand through the gloves. She felt the shyness and love in the clasp of his hand, and without even thinking about it, she returned that feeling that only one who has experienced pure romantic love can feel and express. Lisa squeezed his hand in affection, and in that moment, their hearts were joined together, their destinies and happiness bound in the fortunes of one another. They looked at one another and saw the blush in each other's cheeks.  
  
Somehow, Lisa knew what had to come next. Their eyes closed and their lips met as time stood still for them on the ice, that winter morning.  
  
* * *  
  
"He was kind, unselfish, romantic," Lisa said with a wistful smile, recalling the magic of those days of heaven.  
  
"How could I forget the one who took my first kiss?"  
  
* * *  
  
When the news came to her at the UN Spacy Academy, it came on a cold winter's night, much like the one they had shared together on that distant skating rink in Maryland. Outside the snow flurries floated down. Lisa stared outside with tears in her eyes. Her hands shook as she held the fatal telegram, sent by her father.  
  
THE TELEGRAM  
  
Lisa, the Mars Base Sara group was attacked en route to Earth at 23:00 EST last night  
  
Anti UN forces believed responsible  
  
No survivors  
  
Darling I am so sorry  
  
Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you  
  
You know you can call me any time  
  
* * *  
  
Someone knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in," Lisa called out, even as profuse tears streamed down her cheeks.  
  
It was Claudia.  
  
"Lisa," she said as she strode into the room, "Vanessa and the other girls were thinking of going out tonight for dinner at-"  
  
Claudia stopped in her tracks as she noticed Lisa and the telegram. Without even reading it, she understood.  
  
"Oh, Lisa!" Claudia cried in dismay as she rushed into her arms.  
  
She said nothing more as the two friends sat together, hugging each other. Lisa broke down completely, crying tears of abject despair and loneliness onto Claudia's shoulder. They sat like that for a long time.  
  
* * *  
  
Rick felt himself at a loss. He couldn't believe how open and intimate Lisa was being with her emotions.  
  
"I'm sorry, Lisa," he stumbled, "I feel so stupid for having you tell me about something so painful. It's not the first time I made you cry, is it?"  
  
He reached over and gently wiped away the tears that had formed beneath Lisa's eyes.  
  
Lisa smiled through her tears.  
  
"No it's not. You're a very mean, mean man."  
  
Rick smiled in return.  
  
"I'm glad I could tell you about it, even if it hurts. We should be able to share anything with one another, right?"  
  
Lisa looked at Rick expectantly. In her mind, she was saying to him at this moment:  
  
I want to share the deepest feelings of my heart with you, all the joy and the pain of my life's journey. There isn't anyone else I could possibly share these things with. I'm vulnerable before you in a way that I'm not with anyone else. You alone have the power to break my heart. I thought I had created a fortress around my heart, an island for myself, where nothing and no one could ever hurt me again, but I was wrong. You touched me, Rick. Can you see it? Can you see in my eyes how deeply I care for you? If you could only see into my heart through my eyes, then everything would be so much easier. If only love could be this way. If only you could see how much I love you, and tell me that you loved me too.  
  
For a long time, they looked into each other's eyes. Lisa wondered if he understood, and it seemed for a brief flash that he did understand. Then that moment of understanding passed.  
  
"Of course, Lisa," he simply said.  
  
Lisa sighed. She wished they could stay together like this forever, that this rainy night could live forever. She knew in a way that it would, in her heart. 


	4. That Distant Shore

"You know," Lisa said as she sat next to Rick on the couch, "this reminds me of the time when we were stuck together during the transformation of the SDF-1."  
  
As she said this, Lisa rested her head against Rick's shoulder. Together, they sat there like that, watching the rain pour down outside.  
  
"It seems that's the way it is with us," Rick said, noticing the way she leaned her head against his shoulder and feeling a flush of affection toward her as she did so.  
  
"We always fight and then make up. Fight, and then make up again."  
  
"Like a couple of monkeys," Lisa said.  
  
"Yeah," Rick said, thinking back to that time, "a couple of monkeys."  
  
* * *  
  
You know, I feel as helpless as a caged animal.  
  
I know. Mr and Mrs Monkey, watching the people go by.  
  
I'm glad I'm here with you.  
  
And you're not so bad yourself.  
  
Oh yeah?  
  
Yeah. After today, I have a feeling I could get to like you.  
  
You know, that's funny, because I was thinking exactly the same thing.  
  
* * *  
  
It seemed to Rick that he and Lisa could have kissed at that moment. The time just seemed right. A few hours ago, it would have seemed unthinkable, but there they were, their faces separated by a distance of only a few inches. He could feel that something new was starting between them. But as so often happened, they were suddenly jolted back to reality with the ending of the battle alert and the resumption of the normal ship mode for the SDF-1.  
  
As they enjoyed a late night stroll and remarked at the destruction wrought by the latest transformation, they had been treated to the unpleasant sight of Kyle escorting Lynn Minmei back to their hotel. The moment passed, and Rick and Lisa were once again alone on the streets of Macross City.  
  
"Well," Rick said, "I guess I better head back to the barracks before they think I've jumped ship."  
  
As he turned to go, he felt Lisa taking hold of his hand.  
  
"Rick?" Lisa said nervously. "Could you stay? I'm sure they wouldn't mind if they knew you were with another officer, and, anyway, I'd like for you to stay."  
  
There was something new in her voice, something tender and gentle. Rick noticed that, and he also noticed the touch of her hand on his. Her hand was soft and warm. He felt a moment of intimacy with her in that instant, and it made his heart glad. They had kissed before, but that was because Dolza had ordered them to do it. That didn't really count. The memory of that kiss had haunted him, though. How many times did he lie alone in his room, staring out the window at the stars outside and trying to recall the exact feel of her lips and the sensation of holding Lisa in his arms? And now they were like this, with her hand on his. He felt closer to her in that moment than he ever had before.  
  
"I'd really like that," Rick said, feeling a flush of pleasure as they walked down the street together, arm in arm.  
  
The two friends walked like that for several blocks, neither saying a word, each enjoying the warmth and presence of the other.  
  
"Where should we go?" Rick asked.  
  
"The observatory isn't far away," Lisa said, nodding her head toward the left.  
  
In this direction, the city ended in a park area of grassy lawns and trees, with a few park benches facing a large window to the outside. Rick and Lisa took a seat on the bench next to one another, and they gazed out the giant window, at the earth beneath them.  
  
Outside, in plain view in outer space, the earth was majestic and beautiful. The swirls of clouds looked like an artist's brushstrokes over the green and blue globe. Rick reflected that, despite the time he had spent in orbit above the earth, rarely had he ever stopped to enjoy the earth's beauty in a moment of quiet reflection like this.  
  
He turned to look at Lisa. There was a look of hope in her eyes that seemed to mask the sadness and loneliness in her heart. Rick knew how lonely she was. He could tell in the way she cried in front of him, thinking about her lost love Karl Riber. The resigned way in which she regarded Lynn Kyle as an unattainable shadow, rather than a real man she could possibly have any kind of relationship with. It was almost as if she couldn't even dare to dream of finding happiness again. The pleading tone in her voice as she reached out to take his hand, asking him to stay.  
  
She was lonely.  
  
Why do I feel so drawn to this woman, Rick thought to himself. Why am I so haunted by the memory of that kiss? When she pulled me out of the water and saved me from drowning, I looked at her and noticed how beautiful she was. Her legs, her waist, her breasts, her face, her long brown hair. I noticed that she was a woman. Not a girl like Minmei. But it was more than that. When she came to visit me in the hospital, she was so timid and reserved. So vulnerable. Like the time I saved her on Mars Base Sara. When we were stuck together in that little corner of the SDF-1 just a few hours ago, I felt like this was someone I could talk to. We could talk about things that she would understand.  
  
Minmei wouldn't understand. Minmei acts and thinks like an adolescent. When we were trapped together on the SDF-1, just a couple of scared kids, I felt closer to her than I had ever felt with anyone. I saved her. She put all of her faith and trust and hope in me. She depended on me. Day in and day out, there was only the two of us. We shared our hopes and dreams. When she was sad, I was sad. When she felt hope and gladness, so did I. I never knew what it meant to be so close to a girl, so intimate. It was a kind of emotional and spiritual intimacy. We were so close, we seemed like a married couple. It seemed so natural for me to suggest that I could be her husband and we could pretend to get married. I lifted that little veil off her face and almost kissed her.  
  
It was a precious memory. I never felt that way before, I never knew how truly wonderful it could be to be so close to someone. I never wanted that feeling to end. I would have been happy if we could have spent the rest of our days together, alone in that little corner of the ship. I wanted to hold onto that wonderful feeling. I hoped that we could continue to grow together, that we would become closer, that maybe she would become my girlfriend. We'd been through so much together. It felt like fate had brought us together. But I guess she didn't share my feelings. She thought of me as a friend. 'He's just a friend,' she said. I guess that's all I ever was.  
  
Couldn't you see how much I wanted to be more than that for you, Minmei? Couldn't you see how much I wanted to be your everything? I thought about you every day whenever we were apart. Your name was always on the tip of my lips. I would whisper it to myself when I was alone at night. It was a kind of mantra. You were my good luck charm, you were the most wonderful thing to ever happen to a guy like me. I dreamed of swooping in on my Veritech to save you again and again, and someday I would take you to a place far away where we could be together. Another world, a place where you would always love me. I thought about what I would say when we saw each other again, I thought about how you would feel in my arms, I thought about how beautiful you would be with that smile on your face. I dreamed of hearing your words of welcome and love.  
  
But we drifted apart. What changed? I became a pilot for the Robetech Defense Forces, and you became Miss Macross. Then there came along your cousin Lynn Kyle. That's all true, but it was something more than that. We lost that connection we had down in the bowels of the ship when we were trapped together. We were friends, we still hung out together, but something was different. How do we get back to the way things were before? How do we find that certain something that we lost? How do I find the key to the treasure of your love? We're so far apart now. When I look out now on the world through the glass and thousands of miles of empty space, that's how it feels like with you and me, Minmei. We're separated by some kind of timeless gulf. I don't know how to bridge that gap. I don't know how to find that special feeling we had down there together.  
  
I found something with you that I never knew was possible. I found something precious, a treasure, but I lost it. I'll spend my whole life trying to find that feeling with someone special, someone I love, who loves me back. Maybe I'll never find it.  
  
Lisa is lonely, sure.  
  
But maybe I am, too.  
  
Maybe that's why we're here together, sitting on this park bench like a couple of regular people. We're both searching, longing for that special something, that treasure we had only a tiniest glimpse of before vanishing. It teases us, tantalizes us. It's so near yet so far. It seems if we only reach out with the tips of our fingers, we'll touch that angel's face once again. We'll find that distant and lost shore. We'll find that place where dreams come true.  
  
* * *  
  
"Rick?"  
  
Rick was interrupted in his thoughts of his own loneliness and his hopeless relationships. Lisa was looking at him closely, a little concerned. They were still sitting together on the park bench in the observatory, contemplating the view of the earth below.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Lisa wanted to know.  
  
Rick turned back to face the earth, aware of Lisa's searching eyes on his face.  
  
How could I tell her, he wondered. How could I express my own feelings and thoughts in words to her in a way that she'd understand? There's so much to tell, about Minmei. It's not Minmei herself, though-It's what she meant for me, what she signified in my life. That longing, that yearning, that desire for intimacy with another person. Someone to share your life with, your hopes and dreams with. Someone who understands me more than I understand myself. I could try to explain what I've been thinking in the last few minutes, but it would take too long. I would stutter and stumble to a long-winded and not very clear explanation of what I'm feeling. Maybe I don't have to try to explain. Maybe she already knows.  
  
Rick sighed.  
  
"I was just thinking, Lisa, about how things will never be the same again."  
  
Rick and Lisa shared a long look into one another's eyes. In that moment, Rick felt like she did understand. He was certain that she too shared his loneliness and his longing for love and intimacy. He saw it in the sadness and vulnerability in her eyes, the soft lines and curves of her gentle face, and the invisible aura of desire, longing, and hope that seemed to pervade the core of her very being. He could see that they shared more than a common duty. They shared one of life's precious dreams.  
  
"I was thinking the same thing," Lisa smiled as she stood up in front of Rick and reached down to take both of his hands in hers.  
  
Rick felt himself cherishing the feeling of her hands on his. He wanted to commit this feeling to memory, etch it into his heart.  
  
"Let's go home," she said as the two left the park together. 


	5. Lost and Found

The clock on the wall read 4:00 AM. It was still raining outside and would continue to do so until sunrise.  
  
Lisa leaned against Rick, her head resting on his shoulder. He had an arm draped around her shoulders as well. An empty tea kettle and a pair of cups sat on the table, the hot contents long gone. On the television, an old movie from the 1950's was playing, on low volume.  
  
Rick and Lisa were barely paying attention to the television. The low hum of the movie's soundtrack, along with the sound of raindrops outside, created a soothing ambience for them as they simply rested in the company of each other. The two friends felt their eyelids growing heavy from tiredness.  
  
"Rick?" Lisa said softly.  
  
"Yes," Rick answered.  
  
"What's next for us? What happens now?"  
  
"I wish I knew. I wish we could be at peace, and live like this every day from now on."  
  
That wasn't really the response that Lisa was hoping to draw out of him. She wanted to ask him about their relationship, what would be the next step for them. Would they spend more time together as a couple, grow closer, and share their lives together? Or were they just friends? Instead Rick had given some vague response about wanting peace.  
  
Lisa sighed hopelessly. That man could be so dense sometimes. She wondered if she would ever have the courage to say it out loud.  
  
I love you.  
  
The three precious words.  
  
"Yes," Lisa said at last, snuggling up closer to Rick, feeling acutely the warmth of his arm around her shoulders. "I wish we could be like this all the time. It's relaxing."  
  
"Sometimes when I think about the future, I feel afraid," Rick said. "I feel afraid to face tomorrow."  
  
He was thinking back to the day of the Rain of Death, when Dolza's fleet of five million ships had attacked the earth. Back then, he and Lisa had been reunited in the bowels of Alaska Base. They had wondered if they were the last two people alive on earth.  
  
That wouldn't be so bad, would it. At least you would never be alone.  
  
That day, the two of them had seen the SDF-1 come down from the sky, and they knew that the people of earth had won. There was hope for the future, because there were a few survivors who had the courage and resilience to rebuild. But there was always a lingering fear for Rick. He knew in his heart that the earth had not seen the last of the wars and violence. He knew that terrible things would happen in his lifetime, that he would live to lose the people he loved most.  
  
* * *  
  
Rick was surprised at the sight of Lisa standing in his doorway late at night on Christmas Eve. It was the first Christmas following that cataclysmic battle with Dolza's fleet.  
  
"Lisa?" Rick said, dumbfounded as he stared at his fellow captain, looking forlorn standing there among the snow flurries.  
  
There were no tears in her eyes, but Rick could tell that she had been crying. The marks of tears were visible on her cheeks. Her hands were folded to her heart.  
  
"I'm sorry to disturb you at a time like this, Rick. It's just that I couldn't sleep."  
  
All things considered, Lisa had looked fine at the Christmas Eve party thrown by the crew of the SDF-1. Rick, Lisa, Claudia, Vanessa, Sammy, Kim, Rico, Konda, Bron, Max, and Miriya had all been in attendance. They had held the party in Minmei's Chinese restaurant. For a time, everyone seemed to forget about all that had been lost in the recent war and were simply glad to have each other to continue their lives with. The pregnant Miriya, her belly showing, was the toast of everyone there.  
  
Rick thought about the party as he and Lisa locked eyes. He stepped back and gestured toward his living room.  
  
"Want to come inside and talk about it, Lisa?"  
  
"Thanks," Lisa said as she brushed the snow off her coat and hair, stepped inside, and removed her winter coat.  
  
The two sat down to a hot cup of tea and faced each other on Rick's couch.  
  
"I'm a soldier, I know this," Lisa said as she shook her head sadly. "In war people are hurt and killed. I should have been prepared for it, but it was still a shock when I saw him die. I miss my father, I miss him so much."  
  
"I never thought Christmas would be so hard," Lisa said. "I mean, I left home years ago. But now that it's Christmas, I think of the Christmases we shared together when I was a child, and it's just so hard."  
  
Without wanting to, Rick felt himself thinking back to the Christmas holidays he had enjoyed as a young child. He always used to wake up before sunrise and lay on the carpet near the Christmas tree in his family's living room, admiring the tree and its lights. There was a special present he had gotten one year, a present from a young circus pilot he had met that year named Roy Fokker. It was a model British Spitfire.  
  
He always did like to give me different types of toy planes, Rick reflected.  
  
But that was all in the past. To a child, every day seems fresh and magical. A child thinks and acts like a child. Then one day, that child grows up and puts childish ways behind. The days of heaven are gone, never to return, existing only as bittersweet memories, memories that can be conjured with the full force of a ton of bricks by something so insignificant as a scent, a fragrance that recaptures the feel and sensation of days gone by. Children grow up. The world changes, people change. One day you wake up and realize that the people you grew up with are dead and gone, and you wonder what happened.  
  
Roy. Ben. Mom and Dad. And so many others.  
  
* * *  
  
Lisa was waiting for Rick as he walked in off the flight deck, alone. He was the last plane to return that day, from his patrol for survivors. It was just forty-eight hours since the end of the Rain of Death and the battle with Dolza, and the pilots of the SDF-1 were surveying what was left of the earth, searching for survivors and salvageable material.  
  
On this particular patrol, Rick had requested permission to make a slight detour from his route and check on his parents. A young Rick Hunter had once left home for what was intended to be just a few days as Roy's guest at the celebration for the SDF-1 on Macross Island. A few days turned into years. He had not been home since that fateful day when the Zentraedi had appeared out of hyperspace and the main guns of the SDF-1 had fired, but he had kept in contact with his parents, writing to them to let them know how he was doing on the SDF-1.  
  
"Rick?" Lisa asked expectantly, searching Rick's stoic visage for clues as to the outcome of his visit.  
  
Rick stopped just a few feet short in front of Lisa, and the two friends looked at one another in the dying rays of the setting sun.  
  
She saw the tears well up in Rick's eyes. A sob escaped his throat as he threw himself into Lisa's arms and broke down.  
  
"Oh, Rick," Lisa cried, heartbroken, as she put her arms around him and embraced him on the airfield.  
  
She knew all at that moment even without Rick having to tell her what he had seen. It was not hard to imagine flying over miles and miles of devastated land; enormous craters and piles of concrete and steel rubble were all that remained of much of civilized earth. She could picture in her mind Rick checking his coordinates against the barren visuals below, unwilling to believe and accept that his home, his mother and father, were truly gone. There were no bodies, no graves-- not even any distinguishable wreckage to signify the place he had once known and the people he had loved. All he had left were a few photographs and the ghosts of his distant memories. She could see then that Rick would have landed his aircraft anyway and gotten out. He would have run, alone in the ruins, until he could run no longer. He would collapse on his knees, jerk his head back to the heavens, and cry out for his mother and father. There would be no answer for him but the echoes of his own voice that faded away into nothingness.  
  
"They're gone, Lisa," Rick said, in shock. "Just-gone."  
  
"It's all right," Lisa soothed him as she held him tight, "let it all go."  
  
* * *  
  
That day, she was the strong one, Rick mused as he watched the trembling woman before him on the couch cry for her father. She lifted me up in a way that no one else could. My burden and suffering became hers as well. We both lost so much in the war. But we've gained something special, as well.  
  
Now I have to be strong for her, Rick thought to himself. It's my turn to lift her up now that she's down.  
  
"I feel so dumb for bothering you like this in the middle of the night, especially on Christmas," Lisa said.  
  
"Lisa," Rick said, putting down his tea, "Do you remember the day you met me out of the landing field after I'd gone searching for my family at home?"  
  
Lisa nodded quietly as she put down her empty teacup.  
  
"You were there for me. You were my strength at that moment. You let me know that I wasn't alone."  
  
Rick leaned over and put his arms around her, wrapping her in his embrace.  
  
"You're never alone, Lisa. Please feel free to come over any time you want," Rick said. "I'll even give you the keys to my place for those times when I'm out on duty."  
  
"Thanks, Rick," Lisa said tearfully.  
  
"Hey," Rick said, pulling back and cupping her face with his hands. He looked her straight in the eyes.  
  
"Hey, we're in this together, right? We'll share good times and bad times. That's what friends are for, right?"  
  
Lisa's eyes shined with gratitude.  
  
"Yes," she smiled.  
  
* * *  
  
Sometimes, I feel afraid to face tomorrow.  
  
"What do you mean," Lisa said.  
  
"So much we've lost," Rick said. "So much pain."  
  
They had lost their parents, Rick and Lisa both. They had lost friends close to them. Lisa had lost Karl. Minmei was still alive, but in a way, she was lost to Rick as well.  
  
You can do it, Minmei. Remember, tonight you're singing for everyone!  
  
I know, Rick, but I want you to know I'm really singing for you.  
  
Rick had kissed Minmei, then, really kissed her for the first time. But they both knew that they were really saying goodbye. It was time, Rick knew, to acknowledge that their lives were on different paths and that they would never be together. He had longed for her, desired her, thought about her constantly, but it was time to let go of the dream he had held so close to his heart for so long. Part of him, he knew, would always cherish their relationship. Part of him would always love her. Once upon a time, a young pilot had stared in horror as the guardian Veritech's arm was shot off, releasing Minmei from its hand, and he had thought nothing of pulling off a crazed midair circus stunt to bring her inside his cockpit. He was younger then, more daring, more cocky and brash. Love had seemed simple and pure to him then. There was no reason fairy tale love stories could not come true. The experience of being with Minmei was a part of his past. It was a part of his soul. Circumstances came between them and divided them. A great war came along, a barrier that they could never quite scale. The feeling he had cherished for Minmei slowly ebbed away, almost against his will, supplanted by a new feeling, a growing sense of caring for a certain Lisa Hayes. He could see the both of them even now, standing side by side on that airfield. He was angry with Lisa then for bossing him around like that in front of Minmei, ordering him to go after Khyron. He was also confused. Here were two women with whom he had shared so much. On one hand, here was Minmei, the girl he had saved, just like in the old days. It seemed that the years had disappeared in an instant, and they were carefree, happy-go-lucky kids again.  
  
I know we can't be together, Minmei. But part of me will always love you. You will always be special to me.  
  
On the other hand was Lisa, the woman he had gone through thick and thin with in the war. The woman he had saved in Alaska Base. They had run into each other's arms. They had grown to like and respect one another. Adversity had drawn them closer together.  
  
You know, you could get on without her. She really isn't that much.  
  
Maybe she's my type.  
  
Oh, I don't know. I sort of picture you with someone different. Someone more mature, who's been through a relationship and the pain of a broken heart?  
  
It was true that Rick used to spend a lot of time thinking about Minmei. But now he found himself thinking about Lisa, wanting to be with her, and wishing he had been able to ask her out to dinner. Almost by some kind of magnetic attraction, he found himself drawn to that very park bench where he and Lisa had sat not long ago, admiring the beauty of the earth below them. In his mind, he thought back to the nice moments they had shared together in the course of their budding friendship. It was then that Claudia's words, spoken to him on that park bench, replayed themselves in his head. Claudia knew what Rick was only beginning to become aware of- that Lisa was a woman with a heart capable of loving someone with a deep and selfless love, a love that would always be faithful in spite of all discouragement. A love that most could only dream of sharing.  
  
Rick thought back to that moment, the moment when he had sat down in his cockpit and saluted Minmei and Lisa. Minmei had cheerfully saluted him in return, while Lisa simply stood there with a sullen expression on her face. You're precious to me, Lisa, Rick thought at that moment. I haven't forgotten what we've been through together. But Minmei is precious to me, too. Little by little, the part of me that loved Minmei is dying, every day, and will continue to do so until all that's left is a shadow of that love I once had for her. I knew that this would happen, and I tried to fight it, until the day came when I saw that too much had changed between us and we could no longer share that deep connection we once had. But I was still afraid, afraid to let go. Forgive me.  
  
* * *  
  
"Rick?"  
  
Lisa, still leaning her head on Rick's chest, listened quietly for a response from Rick. None came. He was finally asleep.  
  
"My, look at the time," Lisa whispered in a wonder as she looked at the clock on the wall. It read 4:30 AM.  
  
We've been talking and reminiscing all night. I'm so glad, though. I'm so glad we had this chance to be together and share with one another.  
  
"Rick," Lisa said in a soft voice, knowing that he was asleep and wouldn't hear her, "I know we've had our rough times. But even when we're angry with each other, we still care for one another. We're such mixed up people, aren't we?"  
  
Rick only snored in response.  
  
"I never thought I would care for another man again after Karl," Lisa continued in her soft, gentle voice, "but something changed along the line. You changed me, Rick. I was lonely and empty and heartbroken. I never thought I could ever be happy again, but you showed me that it didn't have to always be that way. We reached out for one another and found something, we understood one another, we shared the same feelings, the same heartbreak.  
  
"I love you so much. I just want to be near you and share everything with you. With you, Rick, I have strength and hope. I want to tell you how I feel, you don't know how much. But I'm so afraid to tell you. I know I shouldn't be afraid to tell you anything, but I am. Someday, I know I'll have the courage to tell you that I love you--that I always have and I always will. And when I do tell you, I will not be afraid. And then we will be forever changed."  
  
Rick stirred in his sleep.  
  
"You say something?" he muttered semi-coherently.  
  
Lisa only smiled as she closed her eyes and listened to the steady beating of her loved one's heart.  
  
"Goodnight, Rick," Lisa whispered tenderly.  
  
"I love you," she added, mouthing the words silently.  
  
"Night, Lisa," Rick mumbled.  
  
Someday I'll tell you, Rick. I'll lay my heart bare before you and trust you with my heart, my love, my life.  
  
Someday.  
  
With this last tender thought, Lisa drifted off as well, lulled to sleep by the gentle pattering of the rain and the sounds of Rick's breaths, and wistfully dreaming of that treasured day when their two hearts would beat together as one.  
  
THE END 


End file.
